One of the things I love about my husband is his ambition.
He has an entrepreneurial spirit. He is always trying new things and discovering new things. He’s not afraid to make mistakes trying, either. He isn’t afraid to be wrong and learn. I’d even go so far as to say he likes being wrong so that he can learn and grow.
I, on the other hand, hate trying new things. I like to stick to what I know and if I’m learning a new skill, I like to already feel confident that I’ll at least be decent at it. I take failures personally and while I enjoy conquering a good challenge, I do not like the process. A lot of times, I let failures stop me from pushing through and I settle for comfort over growth if I personally deem it as unnecessary stress to my life.
Let’s just say, if Tyler trips on a run, he’s finishing the race at full speed but if I trip on a run, I’m either walking the rest of the way or I’m turning around and walking home.
This is one of the things I love about our marriage. We choose to run this race of marriage and life together. At first, I thought we’d leave each other behind or get separated. But I actually found that we work very well together. My husband helps me back up and keeps me running when I want to quit. When he forgets that he must come up for air and water and he doesn’t always have to run so fast, I’m always there to remind him that it’s okay to slow the pace, pause, and rest.
There’s a word that’s often thrown around in christian settings. It’s called “santification”. I googled the definition of sanctification and it says it is “the action of making or declaring something holy” or “the action or process of being freed from sin or purified or acceptable [to God]”.
I feel like our marriage is sanctifying for both of us. God exposes these differences and weaknesses that we might miss if not for our proximity to each other. The things we think we can hide from the world and even bury in ourselves, are usually the things God exposes to our spouses. Sometimes it’s a pet peeve or a sin that they don’t like and other times it’s a quality that they love. But most of the time, it’s an area that God wants us to grow in…together. And this is where we exercise becoming “one”.
That term comes from a few scriptures: Genesis 2:24, Mark 10: 8-9, and Matthew 19:5-6.
I implore you to read and look into what being “one” means. For us, it’s something we experience more than we can describe.
By the grace of God, we are somehow “one”. It’s not codependency, it’s covenant. These rhythms of being “one” are something we’re still figuring out. But we CHOOSE each other. We’ve been through so many life milestones together. Something that helps is being able to communicate, not only verbally but through silent consideration, patient thoughtfulness, and gracious empathy. And we can only do this through the strength that God gives us and the help of the Holy Spirit. Truly. Marriage is sanctifying.
We don’t get it right every day because we’re young married parents. We recognize that and we give each other the space and grace to learn this marriage oneness thing.
Thank God for being in the midst of our marriage.
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